RSVP

I will admit right now that I am terrible about RSVP's. Terrible. I usually send mine in late, if at all. The only ones I do in a timely manner are wedding invitations, and that is mainly because weddings require so much planning that I would feel pretty guilty about a late notice.

That being said, it's actually quite rude not to respond to most invitations. I say 'most' because responding is an imposition on you, and often when you did not ask for such a burden. Surely you can't be expected to respond to everything that is presented to you. However, for events where you have been personally invited, it is your duty to respond.

Now, if you've ever been on the other side of the table and been the one sending out the invites, here are a few tips to prepare you for the nightmare to come.

(1) Only about 50% of people will respond to any RSVP, weddings included, whether they are coming or not. This is the truth to life. Try not to browbeat those who did not respond. If you absolutely must know, then perhaps a phone call would be more appropriate.
(2) There will always be someone who tries to 'work' an invitation. For example, on a wedding invitation, you would expect someone to put down either 1 or 2 guests for attendance. There will always be someone who puts down 6. Be prepared to call this person to negotiate something more reasonable.
(3) You should always specify the dress of the event, if you've gone through the trouble of printing invitations. Weddings are usually the only event where level of dress is assumed.
(4) Normally, people will only bring young children if the invitation states that children are welcome. But there will always be those who think that everyone wants to see their kids. If you wish to head this off at the pass, then you can actually say, "No children, please."
(5) Please remember that this is your event, and you should not be made to feel guilty about putting limits or restrictions in place. You are, after all, inviting them!
(6) Unless it is an informal event, please don't use e-vite. I love the service, and it's very handy for little things, but it's horribly tacky for things like weddings and galas.

Hats off to you

I was sitting in the hospital, and I noticed a soldier walking through the building to visit a friend. He was dressed in his fatigues, wearing a cap. Now, I may be wrong about this, but my understanding of military regulations regarding uniforms is that you can't wear your uniform whenever you feel like it. You should be on duty, going to or coming from a military post, or attending a function where your uniform would be expected or required (like a Memorial Day parade, maybe).

Going to the hospital to visit a friend, however laudable, doesn't seem like a decent reason to be in combat fatigues. And then, wearing a hat indoors? Big no no. The only people who can wear a hat indoors are those who are armed (with guns!).

The reason I mention this is because people seem to have forgotten that hats are not proper attire indoors. All the time, people wear baseball caps and cowboy hats indoors, and really, they shouldn't. Now, there are some general ground rules. In a house, a restaurant, a place of worship, or a place of business, a man should always remove a hat. In some 'common areas' a hat may be okay, such as a mall or such, but this is controversy rather than dogma. A convenient way to remember: if there is a coat rack, then it's hats off.

Women may keep their hats on in church, in homes, and I think even during the national anthem. The hat rule is very much a rule for men. But women play by different rules, of which I can only barely comprehend.

I used to think that baseball caps were okay, and that this hat rule thing was archaic and old-timey. However, as I've gotten older, I've realized that taking your hat off is a gesture of civility and respect, because to wear a hat as a man is to hide something, whether that is your intention or not. Only slightly ruder is to wear sunglasses indoors.

I would encourage you, if you favor hats, to follow this rather simple rule, not because someone told you that you should, but because it speaks to your class and civility, and shows that you are a gentleman.