Nearly done

Nearly done by churl

This year for my Christmas cards, I've been trying to be a little more formal, at least in my addressing. Normally, I'm not a big stickler for protocol, but I decided that this year, I'd try it out.

So, all my cards to husbands and wives are "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Dr. and Mrs. John Smith." However, I've come upon a few stumbling blocks. First, I'm not really sure what to do when the lady is the doctor and not the man. "Mr. and Dr. John Smith" doesn't sound right at all, and I know that I could actually get away with the "Mr & Mrs" but I'm not real comfortable with that.

I also realized halfway through my cards that Ms doesn't need a period. And that I really don't like the title of Ms. It's a shame that no one uses Miss anymore. And no one uses Master anymore either.

So hopefully, no one will be offended by my Christmas card addressing. We'll see, in any case. At least I can take comfort in the fact that although perhaps insensitive, it is correct by standards of etiquette.

Incidentally, the title of "Master" has greatly fallen out of favor, but is the correct form of address for young boys, usually younger than high school age. However, it is not common anymore, except in some circles.

Thanksgiving tips - carving

Turkey by DrTeeth

For those of you having your first real shot at the Thanksgiving turkey, you'd best learn how to carve. Honestly, I recommend that you practice on a roaster chicken. That will at least get you a scale model bit of practice, and chicken is very forgiving.

This is how I carve a turkey. Your results may vary...
(1) Let the turkey sit for 15 minutes for the meat to rest. Meat should always rest after cooking. Add more time with bigger, thicker pieces of meat, and meat with bone in. Can't get much bigger and bonier than a turkey...

(2) Put your turkey on a solid cutting surface. Use a large chef's knife or a carving knife. I also recommend using a boning knife for disarticulating joints.

(3) First remove the legs at the thigh joint. Pull the leg to expose the joint. Separate the thigh and drumstick. If you like to eat the drumstick in one piece, then you're done. Otherwise, cut the meat from the bone in slices, parallel to the bone.

(4) Disarticulate the wings. Separate each segment. Wings are mostly pointless, but someone may want to eat them. You may put away the boning knife now.

(5) There are two tactics to cutting breast meat. One is to take the whole breast off by taking a boning knife, following the ribcage from top to bottom, and pulling one breast away. Then, you can slice it on a cutting board. The other method is to take a carving knife and cut the breast near the wing joint horizontally, and deeply. This is the base cut. Then you can cut the breast from top to the base cut, and each slice should fall away.

When I first learned, I scoured the web, but learning at home is the best bet. Here's the website that I like best for learning: Butterball's guide to carving a turkey.

Christmastime is not here yet

If you're a shopper, you know that Christmas shopping doesn't start until Black Friday, the day of the greatest sales in the history of sales. However, this doesn't and hasn't stopped people from putting up their Christmas decorations. In fact, my hospital has already put up Christmas decorations complete with a rooftop light display.

I will take a bold stand here and now and say that it is too early, FAR too early, to be putting up Christmas decorations, playing Christmas music, having festive Christmas-themed coffee cups, selling Christmas coffee blends, putting out Christmas books and music and all this Christmas STUFF!

One should not begin to display such seasonal fare until Thanksgiving evening or the Friday after Thanksgiving.

And please consider that the purpose and point of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ into our world, and not because of Santa Claus. We are too consumer driven, and have managed to transform December 25 into a spectacular show of opulence and wealth, when in actuality, Christmas began in the simplest of settings: a barn, a manger.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me!

I was reading through the various etiquette websites that exist, and I was alarmed to discover that I had been using "excuse me" and "pardon me" entirely in error. "Excuse me" is for when you are inconveniencing someone. "Pardon me" is when someone is inconveniencing you.

Now, I have found myself saying "Excuse me" in a somewhat sardonic quality when obstructed by someone without the courtesy or foresight to realize their error, but I had always thought that the two phrases were synonymous, but now I know. And now you know.